Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What was I thinking??

Well the title pretty much gives this away but... I agreed to help a friend who is putting on a production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was thinking sure I will put on my fishnets, obscenely short skirt and pass out bags or collect tickets. Oh no my friends. Just call me Rocky. That's right I will be playing Rocky in the performance. GULP!!

Let me preface this by saying I am not a hardcore RHPS fan. Meaning, I have never been to a live production, I have only seen the movie twice and I sure as heck don't know all the approrpriate RHPS etiquette. So as I was saying ha hum, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!

Now those who know me know that I do nothing half ass. For the last week and up until next weekend I have bombarded myself with the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, as well as watching the movie as many times as I can. Oh and did I mention there is only going to be one rehearsel. OY OY OY!!

But this is a great example of something that I wouldn't normally do. As I have said in prior posts one of the things that has changed the most about me is I am open to all new things. I no longer live in my sheltered little bubble where I only "like" things that are familiar. I have found so many new loves for things ie: rollar derby, practicing my craft in a group setting, and even school. These are all things that if you told me I would be doing 3 years ago I would have laughed at you and thought,  "I would never." I am thrilled that the old me would be wrong.

My life has been so enriched by all my new experiences. I find humor in the fact that my boyfriend has no idea how cloistered and up tight I used to be.  He has no idea that just 2 years ago I was terribly unhappy, lonely, and unsure what kind of a future lay ahead of me. The path I was one sadly had no real chance of permenance. He has only known me to be fun loving, outgoing, confident and always doing something crazy. There are times when I miss the monotany I used to have, the calm. However, I never miss the sadness, the self doubt and constant feeling of not being good enough no matter how hard I tried.  Life is so very different now.

As silly as this is I am so excited to be doing this. To me it just further shows me how far I have come. I promise there will be pictures posted afterwards, no matter how embarassing they may be. In the mean time I will just keep shaking my head and saying, "What was I thinking?"