Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What was I thinking??

Well the title pretty much gives this away but... I agreed to help a friend who is putting on a production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was thinking sure I will put on my fishnets, obscenely short skirt and pass out bags or collect tickets. Oh no my friends. Just call me Rocky. That's right I will be playing Rocky in the performance. GULP!!

Let me preface this by saying I am not a hardcore RHPS fan. Meaning, I have never been to a live production, I have only seen the movie twice and I sure as heck don't know all the approrpriate RHPS etiquette. So as I was saying ha hum, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!

Now those who know me know that I do nothing half ass. For the last week and up until next weekend I have bombarded myself with the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack, as well as watching the movie as many times as I can. Oh and did I mention there is only going to be one rehearsel. OY OY OY!!

But this is a great example of something that I wouldn't normally do. As I have said in prior posts one of the things that has changed the most about me is I am open to all new things. I no longer live in my sheltered little bubble where I only "like" things that are familiar. I have found so many new loves for things ie: rollar derby, practicing my craft in a group setting, and even school. These are all things that if you told me I would be doing 3 years ago I would have laughed at you and thought,  "I would never." I am thrilled that the old me would be wrong.

My life has been so enriched by all my new experiences. I find humor in the fact that my boyfriend has no idea how cloistered and up tight I used to be.  He has no idea that just 2 years ago I was terribly unhappy, lonely, and unsure what kind of a future lay ahead of me. The path I was one sadly had no real chance of permenance. He has only known me to be fun loving, outgoing, confident and always doing something crazy. There are times when I miss the monotany I used to have, the calm. However, I never miss the sadness, the self doubt and constant feeling of not being good enough no matter how hard I tried.  Life is so very different now.

As silly as this is I am so excited to be doing this. To me it just further shows me how far I have come. I promise there will be pictures posted afterwards, no matter how embarassing they may be. In the mean time I will just keep shaking my head and saying, "What was I thinking?"

Monday, February 1, 2010

A big thank you...

I was lucky enough to have the helpful hand of a good friend Len, assist me in the update of my blog page. I love it! It's just what I wanted. :) I always appreciate it when people take time out of their own busy lives to offer me a hand. He was incredibly informative. He not only helped me to update my blog but taught me how to do it. I was very pleased when he was impressed at how much I already knew and how computer saavy I was. I believe the comment: your geek is showing, was used. After checking to make sure my clothes were still on... I laughed.

I have learned to do so much over the last year and a half. I have a difficult time relating to the girl I was 2 years ago ( thank goddess herself) and an even harder time relating to the girl I was 6 years ago. So much of me has changed. There really is no obstacle too great or intimidating. I now do things merely for the fact that I have never done them before. I no longer shy away from new things or fear them. Every day is a new adventure and I am always excited by what will happen or what I will discover next.

On top of working full time and taking my pre requisites in school for Nursing I am acting HP for Novices West. You can now add to that taking classes in HTML to help me with my blog and the site I am developing.  My life is beyond full, it is insane all that I do and all that my poor brain has to think about in any given day. However, I feel blessed to have the oppurtunity and abilities to actively pursue my goals and dreams.

Life is forever changing and everyday in my world seems to bring a new change. Everyday though, seems even better then the last. :)

Blessed Be
~Kanani